I figured it has been awhile since I had made a more personal post about my life so well, here it is I suppose. What most people don’t understand about Northeast Ohio is how depressing it truly is; especially in winter. Grey, cloudy overcast skies, and then slight peaks from the shy sun ever so often that just leave you wanting summer to come faster and faster. Snow, there is no color nothing but white and Grey, everywhere. Okay being honest we have had one or two nice days the last week, and by nice I mean temp’s in the high fifties and more sunshine; enough to melt most of the snow that has been on the ground for weeks.

Getting more to the point; I find myself more and more depressed as of recently. Yes, I have always been a depressed person but winter intensifies it to a point as to were I have to turn to something to help make me feel better; something I should be prescribed to but am not for I do not have medical insurance as of now nor the money to go and pay a doctors office visit fee, or for the cost of the prescription. I do not abuse, just take this medicine to help put me in a mood were as I can function throughout the day, and take them just as any Doctor would prescribe them to be taken.

Besides Winter and my own psychological issues I feel my depression stems from another source as well, one which plagues a lot of men (and women); loneliness. Okay, times are tough right now. I have limited funds yes, but am I that unattractive that there isn’t one woman in this city that would want to be with me? Okay I will admit, I have not asked many out on dates recently, and that (I am smart enough to realize) is one of the major issues. To me however it just seems everyone around finds love, like it comes knocking on there doorstep and they answer the door and sign for the package and its a done deal. For me however, I feel like I am invisible to all of the female gender. Or, maybe they to I? I’ll admit I am picky. I mean I am getting old, I want to find a woman who likes the same things I do, and is intelligent, and this is not the most important thing, but looks matter to me as well.

Woe is me. So, in closing, I will say it has felt good to get this off my chest and blogged for whoever to read (and I hope maybe respond). No one worry, I am not going to harm myself in any way because I do love life. All I am asking is for life to love me perhaps… throw me a bone? My life is a bit of a scattered puzzle as of now, but I am putting the pieces together and they seem to be fitting, however there are still some (all the above) that just won’t seem to fit anywhere. Maybe though, more strength is required to make them fit…